Pregnant
by The Oblivious Wallflower
Summary: In which Sakura is pregnant, and she's the last person to find out.


"The _hell_ are you talking about, dobe?"

Sasuke's incredulous voice echoed throughout the training grounds. The blond silently snickered, oh what a _huge_ surprise this must be for the bastard.

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't notice it! You're always with her, how can you _not_ notice?!" Oh, Naruto was enjoying this. He really was. Hell, it wasn't every day that you'd get to see your emotionless bastard of a best friend _squirm _in discomfort, is it?

Said emotionless bastard currently looks like a fish out of water, with his eyes twitching left and right and his jaw dropping as low as it can get. Which actually isn't that low, since the stupid Uchiha pride refuses to let it get any lower than a few measly centimeters.

Poor Sasuke looked so undignified in all his undignified Uchiha (un)glory.

But seeing as he was told by _someone that wasn't his girlfriend_ that he was going to be _a daddy _for the _first time_ in a few more months – did he mention that it didn't came from _his girlfriend_? The _mother of his child_? – he was actually doing pretty good. Better than most, anyways.

Alas, such is the pride of an Uchiha.

"-and the morning sickness! She's so sick most of the time, she's even taken a break from the hospital! Oh, oh! And she keeps herself locked in her apartment nowadays, I mean, have you ever seen Sakura-chan isolate herself and NOT work just because she's sick? Nooo- aww hell, Teme, you think she's hiding from you?"

Curious blue eyes looked over to his best friend, who now had his eyes narrowed and was kinda maybe sorta glaring at the innocent grounds.

Cautiously, Naruto proceeded, "I mean, Kakashi-sensei said to talk to you. Well, he didn't really say anything about, uh, you know, the baby, but he did say something about Sakura's delicate condition and how he thinks you should know."

"Naruto. Who else knows about Sakura?"

The blond failed to notice the deadly tone of voice his friend used, and the aura of death _seeping_ out of the Uchiha. He flippantly proceeded to enumerate the people in the know, "Oh well, see, there's Baa-chan, Shizune-nee-chan, Kaka-sensei, Team Eight, Team Ten - actually, make that Konoha Twelve - oh, and did I already mention the hospit-Teme? Sasuke?"

Blue orbs darted everywhere in the training grounds.

Sasuke was gone.

"Oh shit."

sasuke. _sakura_. sasuke. _sakura_.

Stumbling out of the bathroom was one flustered Haruno Sakura, who just had another friendly meeting with her new best friend, Mr. Toilet. Wiping her mouth, she dragged herself to her bed and plopped down stomach first.

Honestly, she felt like shit. She's been feeling like shit for the past three days. Stupid stomach.

Just when she was about to go to drift off to la la land, she heard the her window open with a _click, _and a _very_ familiar chakra signature filled her senses_. _Groaning, the kunoichi rolled to her back. _'Great, just what I needed!_'

"Sakura."

Said woman grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the Uchiha. "Go away Sasuke, I don't feel like dealing with you."

The Uchiha merely sidestepped the offending pillow, and walked toward the bed. "No. We need to talk. Now," another pillow was thrown to smash his face, "Dammit Sakura, stop being difficult." And there goes the last poor pillow.

He finally reached the bed - _safely_, without anything thrown at his beautiful face - where he stood crossing his arms and staring down at the miserable looking woman lying on the bed.

A single eye tiredly cracked open and glared at him with silent threats of castration and torture and death and rainbows and butterflies. Not very scary, considering she looked like she might drop dead first before acting on those promises of pain.

"What do you want Sasuke?"

Looking as livid as an expressionless Sasuke could get, he went straight for the kill, _"Why the fuck_ didn't you tell me you were _pregnant?" _

Poor Sakura looked likee a banshee with eyes as round as Rock Lee's and her jaw dropping to the ground. "EHHHHHH?!"

Black eyes narrowed slightly, "Let me rephrase. _Why the fuck did _you tell _them_ first that you were _pregnant_?"

Sakura looked livid. The cricket chirping thrice made a countdown for the explosion that was to come. _Three, two, on-_

_"WHAT THE FUCK, SASUKE?"_

Said Uchiha glared, oh hell, she will _not_ scream her way out of this. This was too serious.

"WHO THE HELL FED YOU THAT BULLSHIT?"

"Sakura. Stop yelling. Your pregnancy is hardly bullshit to me. If anything, me not knowing _is _bullshit."

Both looked as tense as a coiled spring, with Sasuke glaring daggers at Sakura and Sakura glaring daggers at Sasuke. The Sharingan-user then continued to lay down the facts, "I go on a mission for two weeks with the dobe and you were fine when we left. I came back, to hear that you haven't been eating much, you were always tired, always throwing up. You haven't been at the hospital, and you are never _not _at the hospital, if you aren't with us. Kakashi told Naruto of your condition when I went to the Hokage tower."

Now Sakura just looked confused. She weakly let out a "What are you talking about?"

"Sasuke," she continued, "I'm _not_ _pregnant_."

The Uchiha looked confused for a minute, but he covered it up with narrow eyes and a too quiet tone of voice, "Sakura, if you're fucking lying to me, I swear I'll-"

"Dammit, Sasuke, do I look like I'm lying?!"

"Hn."

Sakura sighed. "I have a stomach virus. I got it about three days ago, my immune system was down then from lack of chakra. Tsunade-sama requested that I - _fuck_, she threatened to send me on a mission out of the village with _Rock Lee_ for _three_ months if I didn't rest for at least a week. Not that I hate Lee, but his little uh, _crush_ on me still hasn't died down, remember? And as for the not eating thing, how the hell am I supposed to eat as much as I want to if I just throw it up? I'm almost better now, though, so don't worry."

When she glanced over at the Uchiha after her little explanation, the poor guy looked a little lost and a bit confused.

"But Kakashi said you have a delicate condition-"

"Kakashi himself said that?" Pink eyebrows lifted slightly.

There was silence in the room for quite a while, in which one processed the fact that she was _not_ pregnant, and the other processed the fact that she was _made_ pregnant by some stupid assuming idiot who didn't bother to confirm his "facts".

Sasuke broke the silence with a threatening and deadly hiss, "That. Fucking. Dobe."

Suddenly, everything made sense to Sakura.

A devious smile broke through her face as she pulled her boyfriend to sit on the bed with her. Arms wrapping around his neck, she said, "You know, if you wanted me to be pregnant that badly, all you have to do is ask."

His mind taken off the idiot for now, Sasuke smirked lightly, "Oh? Then I'll ask now."

And with that, his lips crushed hers in a bruising kiss. He did miss her, after all.

sasuke. _sakura_. sasuke. _sakura_.

_"Ne, Kaka-sensei, you think it worked?"_

_"I don't know. Tsunade-sama?"_

_Smirk. "Of course it did. I'll be having that black-haired green-eyed grandbaby soon enough! -Oh and Naruto? Prepare for a beating tomorrow."_

_"Why tomorrow Baa-chan?"_

_"Because Naruto, they'll be busy for the rest of the day."_

_"Oh fuck me."_

_oxoxoxoxoxoxo_

_A/N: I'm insane. That's the only explanation for this fic. It's not even my normal writing style but, damn, did I have fun. :)_

_This was made in about thirty minutes and was not proofread, so pardon any mistakes, ne? R&R!_


End file.
